Written In the Bars- Based on your zodiac sign, what cocktail are you?
Grab your crash helmets, babes. Libra season is now in effect! The playlists are mood-y, the lattes are pumpkin spiced and your entire friend group just updated their relationship status.
Ruled by Venus, Libra has long been the house most associated with relationships. It’s all fun and games until the temperature drops and cuffing season is upon us, am I right? And just like Drake and all the Kikis dancing their way thru the internet challenge du jour- the new moon on the 8th is going to have all of us up in our feelings.
Celestial shenanigans not withstanding, the overall vibe isn’t JUST about romance-it’s actually about challenging our relationship to ALL of the things we love. That means friends, money, and o yeah, even ourselves ♡
But not to worry! If love actually IS a battlefield, I've got you covered with this sign-by-sign guide on how to imbibe and conquer.
So here’s to you, babe!
LIBRA
As a sign represented by an *actual* pair of scales, you tend to be pretty even keeled. The new moon is coming for you though, Libra, and your ideas about who you are and what you want are about to get rocked. You might fall in love. You might rapidly fall out of love. Or maybe you’ll just finally try out that new look. Either way, when the dust settles you’ll have established a new balance.... and you’re probs going to want a drink. Enter the Bourbon Chai Toddy. Nostalgic and cozy, but with bourbon. Because balance is key.
1oz hot chai tea
1tbsp honey
1oz bourbon
1/2 oz orange liqueur
Splash of bitters
Cinnamon stick garnish
Essentially , make yourself a cup of chai and then spike it!
SCORPIO
Normally the party gal of the zodiac, October is about urging you to explore your softer side. Letting your guard down isn’t always the most natural for a sign as fiercely self sufficient as the scorpion, but the pay off can be major. You’re used to giving love. Make a little space to truly receive some. Your cocktail spirit animal is the Spicy Red Sangria. Lady-like because wine, but also “alcoholic fruit salad” with a touch of spice for your inner wild child.
1 whole bottle of sweet red wine (lady’s choice)
1 orange, cut into wedges
1 Apple, cut into chunks
1.5 oz brandy
2 tbsp sugar
2 cinnamon sticks
2 cups club soda if you was something tingly
Pour sugar and all the alcohol in a pitcher. Squeeze in juice from orange wedges and then toss in. Add in apples and cinnamon sticks. Let chill as long at you can stand. Add club soda if you so desire.
SAGITTARIUS
Everyone loves a Sag’ because a Sag’ loves everyone. You are the nurturer of the zodiac. You’re kind. You’re obscenely insightful without being a total jerk about it. You love your creature comforts. And let’s face it- you are the realest. October is about wrapping the warm blanket that is your vibe around people who have yet to find a tribe. Maybe that’s thru philanthropy, maybe it’s thru volunteerism, or maybe it’s just in taking a new friend under your wing. Your drink is the Sweater Weather. It’s like drinking a warm hug (that can and will knock you on your ass if you play too much. Sound like anyone we know?)
2 oz vanilla vodka
1oz bourbon
1.5 oz honey
1/2 oz lemon juice
2 oz hot water
You basically spike the crap out of a lemon and honey tea situation. You got this.
CAPRICORN
You boujie B, you. We get it, you like things a certain way and you thrive on excellence. But to throw it back to the aughts and quote Lauryn Hill at you- “Don’t be a hard rock when you really are a gem.” You have a heart of pure gold and you’d be Scrouge McDucking it to hold out on people. You’re challenge this month is to take it down a few notches and allow people to connect and collaborate with the treasure that is you. Your cocktail is a Mezcal Marg. Margaritas because they’re a universal favorite & mezcal because you’re still cooler than us. It’s ok, we actually love that about you.
1 oz orange liqueur
1.5 oz mezcal
3/4 oz lime juice
Lime and salt for rim. Lime wedge to garnish.
Have someone else pour all the liquid into an ice filled shaker, shake, strain into a glass, and serve it to you.
AQUARIUS
Yours is a love affair with ideas. You’re a big picture, small picture, take a picture, all the pictures kind of person. The only potential drawback to all that creative genius is that you tend to get stuck in your own feedback loops. This month, air that brain of yours out and take a mental vaycay by inviting other people to your creativity soirée. Other perspectives are rad and anyway Italy is flawless this time of year. You, dear water bearer, are going to love the full circle/retro goes current/ delicious/ seasonally quirky realness that is the Aperol Spritz. It’s the perfect drink for that mental vacation.
4.5 oz prosecco
2.5 oz Aperol ( its this strawberry rubbarb liqueur)
1 oz club soda
Lime sliced and seeded
Pour prosecco and Aperol in a tall glass with ice. Add in lime slices. Top off with club soda. Drink thru a cute straw.
PISCES
So- full disclosure- My name is Jen and I am a Pisces.
Ethereal. Creative. Flaky AF. We are a fine and emotionally hearty people, but we will never in the history of ever be on time for that dinner thing you invited us to. We love profoundly , laugh frequently, and have the extremely “charming” trait of overthinking evvvvverrrrything. It’s darling, really, I swear it is. We’re deeply romantic but also create these elaborate narratives that are impossible to live up to unless you are either ALSO a Pisces or, say, a raging psychopath. Whether single or paired off, this cocktail of attributes tends to get us into our fair share of romantic misadventures. So this month’s celestial challenge is to take the Rose colored glasses OFF, get real, and actually put in the work towards having the types of deep relationships we all crave. Things can’t always be sweet- balance is clutch. Our drink is a grown up version of my lady-baby favorite, the Amaretto Sours.
3oz Amaretto
1.5oz bourbon
Juice of 1/2 a lemon
Simple syrup to taste (for once try under doing it)
Mix in a shaker with ice, strain into an old fashion glass with one huge ice cube. Swirl your glass, pretend it’s scotch and get ready to get serious.
ARIES
People of this zodiac persuasion are, in a word, fearless. They dream bigger, risk riskier and live bolder lives than most of us can dare dream. Make no mistake- they are slaying the game, they’re just way too busy focusing on their own hustle to even think of shading you about yours. Intense, but also massively chill when it counts. Just don’t make them angry. You wouldn’t like them when they’re angry. The gauntlet laid before the Ram is an interesting one- the art of knowing when or IF it’s appropriate to compromise. Compromise SOUNDS like a good thing, right? And sometimes it is. But what about when it becomes compromising? Don’t dim your shine, because it hurts someone else’s eyes. Your drink is a Kamikaze because rage on you beautiful psychos. Rage. ON.
1.5 oz vodka
3/4 oz triple sec
3/4 oz the zestiest of lime juices
Mix in a shaker with ice. Strain into a chilled martini glass. Repeat until right before you start to crave anything on the Taco Bell menu.
TAURUS
You are such a rock solid sign, Taurus. Strong. Capable. The consummate “Do no harm, but take no shit” types. Truly, you are the friend that always looks like they have it all together. It’s funny, then, to imagine that you struggle with striking the right balance between “treat yo self” and “cheat yo self”. You guys are like actual bulls in a china shop and it’s anyone’s guess if you’re going to just buy a few elegant, perfectly suited, things OR run amuck and break stuff. Don’t look at me, the stars said what they said. And you guys might need to chill. You can live luxe but keep your relationship with your debit card from hitting the skids by focusing on REALLY enjoying the smaller moments of everyday perfection. Starting with this cocktail: Your drink is the Gold Rush. It’s the best- because you deserve that- but it’s timeless and understated as well.
2 oz bourbon
3/4 oz lemon juice
3/4 oz honey ( fine, get Manuka honey. You deserve it)
Mix in a shaker with ice. Stain over one massive ice cube into a rocks glass. You know the drill.
GEMINI
O you charmers, you. Yours is one of the few signs with clear, “did it just get romantic in here?” vibes. You’re personable and interesting so you’ve never lacked for paramours, but you're now faced with the opportunity to really connect and have something that's just the right amount of old fashioned- not unlike your cocktail, the Spiked Cider, which is classic with a little kick.
4 cups cider
1 tbsp orange juice
2 cinnamon sticks
3 cloves
1 star anise
2 oz bourbon
Orange slice to garnish. You’ve had cider. You know the drill.
CANCER
Damn, homie. You’re riding an emotional roller coaster this month. It’s not so much that anything monumental will be happening. It’s more like you’ll be tested just enough to gain some mastery over your emotions. Go with the flow, and you’ll be far less inclined to spend your month snapping at yourself and others like a lil' crabby patty. For your survival strategy you need something yummy, and festive, that reminds you why you love Fall. Plus anything with actual butter in it is all win. Your drink is a hot buttered rum.
1 tsp butter
1tsp brown sugar
Dash of cinnamon
Dash of nutmeg
Dash of allspice
A splash of vanilla
2 oz of dark rum
5 oz hot water
Put the butter, sugar and spices at the bottom of your glass. Smoosh then together. Dump in your rum. Pour in the hot water so everything melts together. Stir, sit by a fire place, drink about it. If things get really bleak, pour the whole thing over some ice cream. It's going to be ok.
LEO
Alright, lionesses, we see you. You are the undisputed queens of the concrete jungle. Class, vision, tenacity- it’s no wonder you often find yourself in leadership roles. Your Libran lesson; however, is going to be learning to think not like a leader- but like a beginner. How would you do things if you didn’t already know how to get shit done? What miracles might you discover if you just took the scenic route for once? This is the season to give yourself the space to just be a beginner and see where it takes you. You might just stumble upon your greatest ideas yet. For you, lovely lions, it’s got to be a subversive twist on an old stand by: the Mezcal Mule. It’s like a Moscow Mule made “wrong”, but in actuality, so so right.
1.5 oz reposado tequila
3/4 oz lime juice
1/4 oz simple syrup
Ginger beer to fill.
Lime wedge to garnish
Toss everything but the garnish and the ginger beer into a shaker with ice. Vigorously shake. Strain over ice into a copper mug. Top off with ginger beer and garnish. Toast to the road less traveled!
VIRGO
No rest for the rad, Virgos. Looks like you’ll be having an action packed October. Friends, family, significant others- the works. Somehow in the midst of all that togetherness you’re going to have to carve out a little time to do you. That’s where your drink comes in. A spiked Cuban Coffee has enough caffeine to get the job done, whatever that might mean, but the whiskey keeps things fun.
Cup of coffee
Cinnamon creamer to taste
Splash of vanilla
2oz of whiskey
Infuse cream with cinnamon by SLOWLY bringing cream with some cinnamon sticks in it to a boil. Make extra, it’s actually really delicious and saves you time later. Brew some coffee and add your homemade creamer, add some vanilla, finish with whiskey. Give it a stir and then sit there chucking to yourself that you are literally drinking whiskey from a tea cup -er-coffee mug.
Looks like it’s almost happy hour….go unwind with those drinks, babes- you deserve it.
xx Jen
